Letting go is never easy
by DarkDragoness97
Summary: Letting go will never be easy. Sometimes, though, letting go is what needs to happen. Natsu's happy with Lisanna, and it hurts but I'm happy for him. For them. I just wish it had been me. Sometimes you try for their attention and affection. Sometimes you need to know when to give in. She's not interested in me. She's already found someone else and avoids me.


_A/n: WELCOME!_

I will admit, this is based on a song I've had in my mind for quite a while now and it just wouldn't leave, so BAM! A lovely one-shot.

Enjoy~

Disclaimer!

I _**do not**_ own Fairy Tail.

_**Letting go will never be easy.**_

It was a couple of months after Edolas.

She hadn't been pushed out or forgotten or anything.

It was just...Lisanna recently started joining their missions. Unlike the others, Lucy didn't know the girl. So she didn't mind that the other's wanted the silverette to come along with them.

It wasn't like she had been Natsu's partner, but they did do missions together now and then if she wasn't off on one with her siblings.

Over time, she got to know the girl.

However, she also didn't like being around Lisanna for too long. Especially when Natsu started spending more time with her and less time with the blonde. It wasn't that she didn't like the girl, Lisanna was lovely and sweet.

Lucy wouldn't go as far as to say she wished Lisanna wasn't here. Mira and Elfman deserved her back and she wasn't that spiteful, the girl was a lovely friend.

Besides, Natsu was really happy, too. No matter how much it hurt the blonde, she knew that his happiness will always mean more to her than her feelings.

Watching the way Natsu, Happy and Lisanna interacted caused her chest to ache, so she often found herself sitting further and further away as the days, the weeks passed. They looked like a happy family, and even though she knew they fit perfectly she couldn't help the green-eyed monster that often popped its ugly head up in her thoughts.

_Green eyes as perfectly coloured and shaped like his._

She shook her head and focused back on the book in her hands.

No. She couldn't think like that. She knew that the guild also awaited the day he asked the white-haired beauty out, even if some of them -Mira, Levy and her team [minus said boy]- had betted on herself being the one he asked out.

She scoffed to herself. She had found out about the bet two weeks ago, the fact that those six [Wendy and Gajeel may have also partaken] betted on her was ridiculous. It was obvious that Lisanna was going to be the winner.

So Lucy had done the smart thing that day to get her friends from pestering her: she put money on Lisanna.

It worked.

Her friends stopped questioning and poking and prodding at her to admit her feelings. Lucy couldn't have felt both better and worse. She was just so mixed in her feelings more often than she would've liked: happy that her best friend was happy, but she was so upset because it wasn't her that made him happy.

She felt better because her friends weren't constantly harassing her over Natsu -sometimes it was about her feelings for him and his for her ("non-existent" the celestial mage would scoff)- and other times it was about Lisanna and Natsu and their 'relationship'. She couldn't handle it, the fake smiles and teasing over the couple...even if they weren't official, there had to be something going on, he was slowly starting to leave her life and go to the animal mages side.

The busty blonde often found herself escaping the guild after saying hello to everyone. She'd only stick around for an hour or so before leaving and either going home, shopping, or sneaking off on solo-missions -Mira complained at first but understood that the blonde was 'desperate for rent money' and the team just weren't available to help (a white lie she would often tell to stop the older woman from prying too much) for a day or two.

Lucy groaned inwardly when she caught Natsu and Lisanna looking over at her before they quickly looked away. Maybe they knew how she felt. She swallowed and put her book -she had no clue what it's about, she tried reading a page or two but ended up just staring at the page instead!) by the time she'd buckled the bag back up, Natsu had already made his way over.

_Please, just leave me alone…_

The thought shocked her, but at the same time, she knew it was exactly how she felt. She found herself avoiding him almost as much as he avoided her. Or at least it felt like he was avoiding her since she rarely ever spent any time with him outside of team missions.

"Natsu, what's up?" she gave a small, sheepish smile.

Natsu scratched at his cheek, looking over his shoulder at Lisanna, who gave him a thumbs up and muttered 'you can do this!', something Lucy missed as she looked around the guild for Levy or Wendy, either one would have caught the look of 'help me' on her face.

Taking in a deep breath, Natsu cleared his throat, his boyish grin that the spirit mage loved so much on his face. "I was wondering I-if.. you know, if-" Natsu swallowed back his sentence as she turned to face him. His confidence draining away as he felt his heart drop.

He could _not _do this, not when she stared at him like that.

Like she wanted to be anywhere but here. With him.

He felt his heart stutter a little in fear.

He knew it.

He had a feeling that she didn't feel the same, but seeing the way her eyes would still scan the room even though he was in front of her, he choked.

She'd reject him if he asked.

So instead. He changed his sentence.

"..if you don't mind...I'll be going on a mission with just Lis". Her smile faulted, a lump lodging its way in her throat.

_Of course. _She should've expected it. They _were _a thing now, after all. So she nodded before plastering another fake smile onto her face, eyes closing as she pulled her bag onto her shoulder. "Okay...But why would you need to _ask _me? Idiot, of course, you can" she giggled and turned on her heel.

She felt like an idiot for even having a small bit of hope left. As she turned and walked away she felt the small piece of her that had hoped crumble into dust.

Natsu winced as she turned, her golden hair brushing against his cheek felt more like a slap than a tickle. Making his way back to the table with Lisanna he slumped into the seat opposite.

"What the hell was that?!" the blue-eyed girl facing him leaned close, whisper-shouting at him.

"I-I choked. S-she.." he couldn't stop the trembling in his voice. The way she had looked at him...it just confirmed his doubts.

He jerked when he felt a light hand on his shoulder. "Hey...you can just try aga-"

"No…" the pinkette sighed, placing his face in his hands, making sure his eyes were covered, "I don't think I will. The way she looked at me, Lis" removing his hands from his face, he locked eyes with her. "I knew she wouldn't want me. I just...I don't-I don't know what to do though. To see that she reacted like that, I...she isn't interested in me".

Lisanna groaned "that's not true, think about it! Why else would those guys bet on her! They clearly know she likes you"

"-Or that I like her. They're my friends, too".

"We'll work something out" was all his childhood friend could say.

_~0~_

Lisanna really couldn't sit back any longer. A whole month had passed by since Natsu confronted Lucy to confess.

Ever since that day, Lucy avoided Natsu like a plague, and Natsu avoided her, too. Whenever they were in the guild together, it felt tense and over the four weeks, they drifted apart.

It was almost like they were strangers if it wasn't for the awkwardness.

Lisanna figured out why Lucy probably looked like she wanted to be as far away from her and Natsu as possible when she found out -from Levy and Juvia- that Lucy, and most of the guild, believed the youngest Strauss and Natsu were dating.

To which Lisanna had explained to everyone except the blonde, that she was in love with someone else and had only been spending so much time with Natsu to help him with confessing to Lucy.

After that Natsu's constant love-sick signs and staring whenever Lucy was too busy to notice didn't go unnoticed by _anyone, _and unbeknownst to the oblivious blonde, everyone within the guild went out of their way to try and fix the problem that _they _had caused.

The moment Lucy walked in, their plan -that hadn't even started- was completely and utterly scrapped the moment she sat at the bar and squealed to Mira, "I have a date tonight!".

Lisanna, Natsu and majority of the guild, except Mira, froze.

"Oh~?" Lisanna knew that Mira was only part playing along and part interested in the gossip.ng and gushing over the guy she was going for dinner and a movie with, he stood up, slamming his hands on the table in front of him and feeling the smoke from the burning wood beneath his palms.

"I'm going home" was all he said as his eyes met Lucy's briefly before he glanced towards Mira and stormed out of the guild.

He knew it was his fault. He knew it but...he couldn't help feeling betrayed.

She was _his. _His mate. So she should feel the same right? She belonged to him as he belonged to her…

...but that wasn't quite right.

Sure, for dragons and their slayers, you could only have one mate for life. Having 'a mate' wasn't like soul mates or anything, but he knew that he was her soul mate -as cheesy as that sounds- because he was the one who had broken that stupid love spell she was under when they first met in Hargeon, without touching her or anything. He broke it by walking past.

Levy had told him that only 'true love' or whatever could do that. He didn't believe that crap...yet he was beginning to believe it was true when it came to Lucy.

Maybe he was an idiot.

"Natsu...are you sure you're going to be okay?" Happy also believes that they like each other, and Natsu was getting tired of it. It felt like the exceed was just rubbing salt into a wound.

"Yeah. I'll be fine".

_~0~_

Lucy wasn't exactly _lying _when she said she'd been speaking to Soji for the past couple of weeks, but it wasn't in the way she was telling the guild and Natsu. To be honest, she didn't even have a date with him tonight.

She was just...exaggerating the truth -no she wasn't. She was lying and she knew it- just like he told her to.

"_Trust me! It's the easiest way of knowing if he actually likes this other girl or not" Soji winked, his storm grey eyes twinkling with mischief as he opened them both up and grinned a wickedly charming smile. _

"_...how, exactly, will that help? I doubt he'd even care."_

"_Because~" the word came out sing-song and she rolled her eyes. He was a great guy and she was so glad at this point to have clicked with another person almost as quickly as she had clicked with Natsu -though they weren't exactly best friends like she had been with the pyro- and she needed that kind of friendship. _

_She could talk openly with him and not worry about others in Fairy Tail finding out. "He'll get jealous, duh" he finished when she didn't open her mouth to retort._

"_You should join Fairy Tail"._

"_Eh..too much of a free spirit" the shadow mage yawned. _

"_So you should join"._

"_Fine. Maybe. I'll consider it if you confess to Natu Dragoneel"_

"Dragneel, _Natsu Dragneel. Not 'Dragon-neel'" Lucy giggled, face flushing, causing the male next to her to smirk and continue to tease her._

Lucy snapped out of the memory when she heard a loud bang and turned her head to see a seething Natsu. His dark eyes locked with hers and she felt her blood drain from her face in the millisecond that he kept eye contact before he dropped it and left.

She felt so stupid.

_Damn you, shitty Soji! It made things worse!_

So she frowned and looked to Mira before standing up and clearing her throat out. "Sorry...I, um, have to go and get ready" to make it more believable, she checked her watch. "He's picking me up in two hours and I need to bathe and stuff" Mira gave a soft smile and nodded.

"Have fun~! Also, don't mind Natsu, he's been in a bad mood all morning". Lucy nodded, not picking up on the fact that Mira had lied. She was a terrible liar.

"O-okay..".

It was then she sighed, looking back at what had happened.

She knew he wasn't jealous. She kept sneaking glances over and each time he'd been looking at Lisanna. Maybe they were having problems?

Lucy looked up towards her front door, she didn't realise she'd reach her place so soon.

She groaned as she opened and closed her door behind her, leaning against it for support before closing her eyes.

"I think I need a nap".

_~0~_

She didn't know how much time had passed, but the sound of footsteps somewhere in her room caused her eyes to open.

She could see the moonlight shining through her open window onto the wall, the rest of the room appeared dark from her position.

The footsteps stopped behind her and she quickly closed her eyes as she felt someone lean slightly onto the bed.

Why was she pretending to be asleep? What if it was a thief?! Or-or-

But then she felt it. His too-warm fingers on her skin, stroking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear and she exhaled softly as her heartbeat began to speed up.

"You're too good for me. For anyone." she could feel his breath caressing her ear as he spoke, causing goosebumps to appear along her arms and neck. She had to suppress a shiver as he continued. Was he too lost in thought that he couldn't hear her heart?

"I've always loved you… it just grew into a stronger and purer form over time, getting bigger and more...annoying" Natsu chuckled, moving away from the bed a little, the shift told her he was probably running a hand through his hair.

"You don't even know how much sleep I've lost because of you, because of how you make me feel." Lucy opened an eye, wanting to turn and see his face, but not wanting to interrupt him just yet.

"I'm such an idiot. I know it's too late now. I know we don't talk anymore and I know I screwed whatever we could've had because I'm so stupid...I spent more time with her instead of you because we had a mutual agreement" this time he laughed almost bitterly.

_Mutual agreement?_ Her brows furrowed. _What?_

"She offered to help me confess to you if I'd help her with her confession to Bixslow but _we_ just grew further apart. Then I screwed up more when I tried to confess, choked and said I was gonna go on a mission with Lis last month.."

Both of Lucy's eyes widened as she sat up and turned to him. "W-what..?"

He smiled, eyes softening. "I love you, Lucy Heartfillia."

She swore her heart skipped.

"It was always you. Sure, I had a silly crush on her as a kid, but that was years ago, and nothing compares to _this_...but I also know that you don't feel that way." his smile fell and he crossed his arms, her eyes still wide and mouth gaping open "I just... want us to at least be best friends again".

She still sat there, staring at him, causing him to fidget slightly, a rare sight for her to see.

"Luce...please say something". Closing her mouth she narrowed her eyes at him before looking down at her hands in her lap.

"I love you, too" she mouthed, more to herself.

"What..?".

"I love you, too" it came out more firmly as she stared into his almost onyx eyes.

"FINALLY!" Gray, Mira and Cana shouted, causing both Natsu and Lucy to jump and turn to their crowd -because of course Erza was there, too- that was gathered by the door. Their mouths opening and closing like a fish out of water from shock.

"Wh-wha..-"

"-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!".

"Making sure flame brain here didn't screw up. _Again." _Gray rolled his eyes as he threw his shirt off.

Needless to say, Lucy kicked him out screaming at him to put some clothes on before yelling at the other three for being over uninvited, and Natsu finally got to confess to the blonde that claimed him that day in Hargeon all that time ago.

That left one more problem for him: He had to explain about her being his mate.

Maybe he'll tell her that in a year.


End file.
